Inmates need help from the outside. That’s just a fact. Some of us feel guilty asking our friends and family to constantly take care of our outside chores. That is where inmate service providers come in handy. I made up that term (inmate service provider) so company I am about to promote will probably not recognize that term. I haven’t heard any term that has caught on though, so I figured I would make one up.
I’m talking about a company (usually only one or two people working from home) who specialize in handling tasks from inmates for a fee. Most of the time, the owner/operator of these companies are convicted felons who have served time themselves. That is what gives them the empathy to even understand what you need and why. They have been there and done that.
I recently reviewed a couple of such companies that didn’t work out. It happens. As inmates, we should be able to empathize with all of the reasons such a company can go south. So, I strongly recommend spreading out the work. Just imagine starting a company with three of your closest 12-step friends. That might be workable. One relapses and there are still three of you to carry on and find a replacement. But, what if you go into business with just one fellow 12 stepper? What if they relapse?
Addiction is just one of many challenges we have when working with fellow felons. Our brotherhood/sisterhood in helping each other is valuable, but we are what we are. You are safer having three inmate service providers than one. Plus, like in a company, you can divy out responsibilities that play into the strengths of each player… and avoid their weaknesses.
My current crew is extremely diverse. Their backgrounds and talents are very different. I just track the time and cost of each type of task to figure out what they hate to do (it will show up as them taking longer than usual or charging a lot) and pass those tasks to another. It works really well. Sometimes, I am surprised by the work of one that really doesn’t fit the profile of the person I’m working with, but I just go back to the numbers.
Of course, that means I can only work with someone who gets tasks completed and back to me within about a month. Getting a first task eight months after it was assigned generally means that provider isn’t going to work out. My current crew is faster than any I have had in the past. Here is their average days to complete a task a measured by the time I hand the envelope to a corrections officer to mail out until a corrections officer hands me the response by mail:
- Felon’s Friend 15.6 days
Most of that time is spent by the prison mailroom or the postal service. I imagine they are finishing tasks in only one or two days It is a great crew! I really appreciate them.
So, how do you get started? It’s simple. Send them an institution check or money order for a hundred bucks along with a detailed description of a simple task like:
- Look up the Wikipedia page for Bitcoin.
- Make ten copies of the enclosed document.
- Send the following email to…
- Send me the form to request a social security card replacement.
- Type this letter.
- I need a list of attorneys in Anytown, USA.
- Ask AI to make me a picture of a black panther with a bunch of purple roses in its mouth.
- Order me a subscription to Time magazine.
Don’t worry about the task costing less than the hundred dollars. They will keep a retainer for you and tell you how much the task costed and your remaining balance.
Here is the address of my own valuable crew to get started:
Felon’s Friend, LLC
P.O. Box 3161
Carmichael, CA 95609-3161
They will connect with you on Jpay or GettingOut once they have your deposit. They can be absolutely trusted with your deposit. I’m pretty sure they are convicts and know how much jailhouse thieves (or convicts who steal from convicts) are despised. I started them with a five-hundred-dollar deposit and they have held pretty close to twenty thousand dollars for me. Don’t worry about your money. It is safe with them.
Also, know that they will complete your task quickly. If you somehow get a significantly longer response time than I reported above, just send that type of task to one of the others in the future. Give them a bit of slack. They are us. You know your fellow prisoners have some amazing talents and also some things they just aren’t all that great at doing. Same thing with these vendors.
But, I can guarantee you that you will feel way more freedom in your life with their help. I do. And, you won’t have to feel guilty for constantly asking friends for favors.
If you are an inmate service provider and you would like me to try your services, please connect with me on GettingOut at the Idaho Department of Corrections site. My name is James D. Brausch 158273 on GettingOut. Enjoy!
James D. Brausch is a success coach who just published his fifth and sixth books. Write to him via postal mail at P.O. Box 1502, Carmichael, CA 95609-1502.